The Blackout
by lightning027
Summary: Mello and Matt are getting married, and have invited L, Light, Watari, Near, and Matsuda to their bachelor party.  But when the whole night is forgotten, will they be able to find Near and Matt in time for the wedding? AU. YAOI  multiple pairings
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N:** As the summary said, you do not need to know about the movie the Hangover, and no, you do not need to watch it to understand this story. If you have, skip this part and move onto the next paragraph. I'll give you a summary of that movie right now: four guys go to Vegas for a bachelor party, and wake up the next morning not knowing what happened the night before. They have to find out what happened that night, find their friend Doug, and return the tiger they found in their bathroom in order to get to the wedding on time.

This is a Death Note AU. Light and Misa never regained their Death Note memories after they lost them, and have been Kira suspects for five years, while Ryuk and Rem are still trying to somehow help them regain their memories. So both Light and Misa are still under surveillance, and of course Light and L are still handcuffed together *smirk*.

Also, because of Mafia pressure *ahem, Mello, ahem* California still has a law that allows same sex marriage. Speaking of that, there will be yaoi in this. Most of it will be drunk, OMGWTF yaoi where the pairing will not be supported in the story. The only "actual" or "sober" yaoi in this fic would be MelloxMatt.

Oh, and I am not a big Light fan. Therefore, he will probably be the most abused in this fanfic. It's not because of my personal dislike of him, it's because it's so easy to irritate him, and so funny to read/write. Also, I'm not too fond of Near. Those are just my biases, if you find one of them shows up in the story a bit too much, please tell me.

**I own nothing.**

There is a reference to the used-to-be-viral YouTube video Charlie Bit My Finger. Try to find it. It is very obvious.

Well, that was a fuckin' long author's note. Read the story now please.)

_Ring Ring . . . Ring Ring_

Misa picked up the phone, hoping to god it was one of the guys.

"Misa?"

"L! Where the hell are you guys! The wedding's in TWO HOURS!"

"Misa . . . I don't believe we will be making the wedding. This is one mystery we cannot solve. Most likely becausewe got ourselves into it."

_**Three Days Earlier**_

"L, would you please take the handcuffs off?" Light asked as they moved down the line.

"Light-kun, I have been telling you this for over five years, I am not taking them off," L stated, thumb to his mouth.

"But how the hell will we get through airline security!" Light practically yelled, earning a few stares from fellow flyers. Most of them were more interested in the fact that two young men were handcuffed together, though.

"I have my ways," L said, looking bored. As it turned out, he did have ways, and L and Light were soon on a plane to California.

"Wait up! Oops!" someone called. A very large woman was pushed into another man, making them fall into another row of seats, and on top of a child. Once they were out of the way, the culprit was revealed.

"What's he doing here!" Light exclaimed.

"I told Mello about him and he was invited. Stupid move on Mello's part," L said.

"Very stupid," Light agreed as none other than Matsuda stepped over the unfortunate couple and made his way to the handcuffed men.

"Hey heeeey," Matsuda greeted, sliding into a seat next to Light, who mentally rolled his eyes. This bachelor party would be a disaster. Chained to an insomniac and being harassed by an idiot. No sexy time for Light. He sighed.

"So, my grandma just bought this turkey, and it like, had babies! So I was like OMG ROFLMAO and she was like 'oh no you didn't' and I was like 'what you talkin' bout, Willis?' and then-"

"Matsuda, SHUT UP!" Light yelled, earning glares from even more passengers. They had been flying for well over three hours, and Matsuda had refused to shut up. It was driving Light insane.

But what made him even madder was that L didn't have to put up with it. No, the man he believed to be an insomniac had been asleep for the whole flight, snoring even. It was madness.

_Just about seven more hours to go . . ._Light thought, and groaned. This was terrible.

"Aw, Light! Why do you have to be so mean? Oh, that reminds me of the time I went out drinking with the guys, and there was this chick and she was like, 'heeeey, sexy thaang,' and I-" Matsuda continued, completely ignoring Light. Well, not ignoring, just being idiotic and refusing to listen to him.

Light reached under his seat and pulled out his carryon bag, rummaging through its contents.

"-and he was like 'no, it's a transtrilabite' and I was like 'what the crap is a transtribulite,' and he was like-"

Light finally found his iPod and stuck the earbuds in, turning up Beethoven so that the music drowned out Matsuda's useless chatter.

Light could see Matsuda's mouth moving, but no words were coming out. Light smiled contentedly, and closed his eyes.

"-and then the goat . . . Light? Are you listening? Liiiiiiiight?" Matsuda wailed, poking the brunette. He gave up once he realized Light was not reacting to his annoying behavior. Maybe L would like to listen to a story, Matsuda thought.

Matsuda then proceeded to lean over Light and started to poke L. Light opened one eye, annoyed, but then realized what Matsuda was doing. He watched as the idiot poked L, as if he was in a trance.

"Ryuzaki!" poke. "Ryuzaki!" poke. "Ryuzaki!" poke. It was having no effect, but Matsuda persisted, moving his finger to the detective's snoring mouth, with Light watching intently.

"RYUZAKI!" Matsuda poked with more force. L's eyes shot open, and he bit down on Matsuda's finger.

"AHH!" Matsuda yelled, pulling his finger away from the detective as if he had rabies. He then stuck the finger in his own mouth, but not before saying, in a very childlike voice, "Ryuzaki 'it my fingeh!"

Light cracked a smile and laughed with the rest of the passengers, who had witnessed this weird event. L, who had just woken up and still had no clue what was happening, was scratching his head and yawning.

A few minutes later, while Matsuda was still nursing his throbbing finger, Light asked a question which had been bugging him for a while now.

"Ryuzaki, where is Watari? Is he coming with us?" Light questioned.

"Yes, he is here. I arranged for him to have a first class seat, so he did not board with us," L answered, absentmindedly looking out the window.

"If he has a first class seat, why don't we?" Light asked, a bit annoyed that they could be sitting first class, when Light actually had to deal with an idiot detective who looked like a child with his finger in his mouth. Light turned back to look at L, who had his thumb to his lip_. Oh, lovely, boxed in by two finger sucking detectives_, Light thought miserably.

"Because then it would be obvious that Watari and I were traveling with each other, and thus making it more likely for an assassin to deduce that I am a person of certain importance," L stated. "Also, it would spoil you, Light-kun."

Light's right eye twitched.

About an hour before the plane was scheduled to land, Light woke from a peaceful sleep. Light, not wanting to wake up just yet, groaned a bit and hit his pillow to try to fluff it. It was very uncomfortable and slightly boney for a pillow . . .

"Light-kun, I would appreciate if you would not hit me."

Light sat bolt upright, banging his head into Matsuda's, who had also been asleep. Light wiped a bit of spittle from his mouth, and tried to control the blush that was creeping up on him. Falling asleep on L's shoulder! How embarrassing! And with the handcuffs . . . this was not adding up in favor of Light's actual sexuality.

A girlish giggle interrupted Light's internal ramblings, and he looked at Matsuda, who he assumed had made the annoying noise. But Matsuda was still asleep. Light shook his head and saw a camera phone peeking in between the seats in front of him. The green eye that was obviously attached to the owner of the phone widened, and soon both eye and phone were out of sight.

"Ryuzaki . . . did you just see what I saw?" Light asked.

"The teenager recording us while we slept, or the fact that you drool?" L asked.

"The first one," Light responded, trying to keep from twitching again at L's comment. At least Matsuda was asleep.

"Well, we can't have that. My face cannot be captured on film, Light-kun," L mused, finger to lip. He stared intently at the back of the chair in front of him for a moment, then pulled out his cell phone.

"Ryuzaki, what exactly are you doing?" Light asked. He could never understand the detective's thought process.

"Solving our predicament," L responded. He then talked to the person at the other end of the phone.

"Yes, it is late, or early depending on how you think about it . . . oh, yes there is a code P. . . no, not _that_ P, P as in photo . . . yes, that will do just fine. 24Jand K, thank you," L hung up.

"Ryuzaki . . ." Light trailed off as he saw Watari walking down the aisle of the plane in the garb of a pilot. He was also carrying a newspaper, so Light obviously knew that he was heading to the bathroom. What exactly was L doing?

Watari walked past the passengers, sometimes answering questions because the passengers who were conscious believed that there was some sort of major plane problem. Watari assured the passengers that he was just using the bathroom, and continued down the aisle, until he reached the row in front of theirs. Watari then tapped the owners of the two seats that did not belong to the teenager, and told them that they would have to move to seats near the rear of the plane.

"Why do we have to move?" a man asked, still groggy.

"Because the oxygen masks above your seats have not been functioning properly. It amazes me that the stewardess did not inform you. Please, come with me," Watari said, leading the sleepy couple to some available seats.

Light shot Ryuzaki a questioning glare, but L just ignored him. L just sat there for a few minutes, shushing Light whenever he started to speak. Finally, after about five minutes, L made his move.

The older man propelled himself over the seat in front of Light, and by a feat of sheer awesomeness did not bang his head on the ceiling of the plane.

L landed in the seat next to a very shocked teenage girl. She looked to be in her latter teens or early twenties, when in reality she was only fifteen. The detective sat in his usual crouching position, his face unusually close to hers.

The teen actually thought this strange man was attractive, but still moved backwards in her seat, until her left side was firmly pressed to the side of the plane.

"Why, exactly, were you filming me?" L asked, cocking his head to the side.

The girl, unused to such tense and strange situations, felt her face heat up as she answered.

"Um . . . I-I need something to put on my YouTube account. I thought it would be funny . . ." she trailed off. She hoped to god that this man wasn't going to hurt her because she had been recording a video of him while he slept. It had just been so cute! And her friends _were _always talking about how they loved something called "yaoi" which involved two men in a romantic way . . .

"Oh," L said, looking sullen and turning away from the girl. She felt her heart melt at his pout.

"Also, it was just too cute to pass up," she whispered with a small smile. At first she thought that the man hadn't heard her, but then he looked at her, a gleam of happiness in his eye.

"I'm cute?" he asked, tilting his head to the side again.

"Yes!" the girl answered, smiling full now.

As quick as lightning, L leaned over the armrests of the airplane chairs and crashed his lips onto hers. She was shocked at first. She didn't know how old this man was! He could be a pedophile for all she knew . . . but he won her over easily. His mouth moved against hers perfectly, he was by far the best kisser she had ever met.

L wound a hand into her hair, deepening the kiss and moving towards her. He was sitting practically on her lap as he licked her lower lip. She let him in, tangling her tongue with his. Surprisingly, he tasted sweet. She had never met a guy who had tasted this good, kissed so well, oh Lord . . .

She tangled one of her hands into his black mop of hair, moaning as he explored her mouth. She felt his other hand run down her side and onto her hip, sending shivers down her spine. He then cupped her butt, surprising her as she let out a small yelp. She rolled with it, allowing herself to do whatever the hell this amazing man wanted her to do.

Light was in a very uncomfortable position. Not just because he could hear L making out with an underage girl in the seat in front of him. No, he was in an awkward position because of the chain that connected the two together. Light didn't know what L had done so that six feet of chain had magically disappeared. What he did know was that he was smashed against the back of an airplane seat, and that it was increasingly painful.

Light endured fifteen painful minutes of L's fun time before he was fed up. So now _he_ gets all the girls? Light hadn't kissed anyone but Misa in five years, and hadn't had sex in at least six months. What right does he have to make out with random airplane teenagers! Light angrily yanked on the chain, earning a yelp from the seats in front of him.

After that he heard a few whispered words from in front of him, and then L did another one of his ninja jumps and was back in his own seat.

"Ryuzaki, what the _hell _did that do to keep the video from spreading?" Light asked angrily as the detective "fixed" his hair. Light didn't even know where to begin to fix the unruly mess that_ was_ L's hair.

"It did incredibly much," L said, pulling a camera phone from his pocket. Light's mouth dropped open.

"You have much to learn, young Light-kun," L said while patting Light's head. Light was opening and closing his mouth, not unlike a goldfish.

**(A/N –** well, there you have it, the first chapter of the first DN/Hangover crossover. If you have read this far, I would love some acknowledgement, because I know not many people will be reading this.

I bet when you read the part about the random fangirl (come on, you _know _that's what she was), you were thinking "WTF! is this person putting in an OC! NUUU!" well, no, she is not an OC(unless OCs count as random characters that only appear once and have nothing to do with the plot), and does not even have a name, thank you very much. Just another way to add more humor.

A bit of a side note on that scene. Everyone who ever makes an L oneshot or story where he has a love interest makes L a great kisser. Well, I don't know about them, but I have evidence on this theory (O.O sounding strangely like L . . .) first of all, have you ever seen him without_ something _(candy, cake, thumb) in his mouth? The boy obviously has some sort of oral fixation. And, if he does, and there is a very high probability that this is true, he would be an awesome kisser. The random fangirl was lucky, even if she did lose a phone, and was attacked by a pedo bear (L's like 29 or 30 now).

And of course, Light is also jealous of random fangirl. ^_^  
>I promise the other author's notes will be shorter. (Thumbs up for L's ninja jumps! =]) )<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N –** Hello random reader. Let's get a few warnings out of the way WARNING: YAOI, CUSSING, AND IMPLIED SEXUAL ACTIVITY. Not necessarily in this chapter, but it's coming, man. And some parts will be like movie scenes, with music playing and camera angles and such. Just roll with it.

In this chapter Mello voices his opinions on the terms "gay" and "homosexual". I have no biases concerning homosexuals, lesbians, or bi's. I just think that this is what Mello would have to say on that matter, him being insecure about his sexuality and all that good stuff. I think that Mello is biased. I, myself, am not biased in any way towards a person's sexuality, and hope that no matter what sexuality you are, you are happy with yourself and find love =]

**I don't own the Hangover.** If I did, I would be very rich by now.

**I don't own Death Note**, although I wish I did so I could get L and BB to do whatever I wanted *evil grin*

**I do not own Lady Gaga's "Highway Unicorn"**, if I did, I would be a pop star. Ew.

I do, however, own the random nameless fangirl in the last chapter. Whoop de do.)

L and Light were picking up their bags as they were brought around by the conveyor belt. Matsuda was standing beside them.

"I wonder what would happen if a person was brought around on one of those things," Matsuda asked, mesmerized, as the baggage rode past them.

"I have also pondered this, Matsuda. I have come to the conclusion that either an attendant would yell at you for doing something so stupid, or you would eventually be circulated through those flaps," L pointed, indicating a large rubber flap, where baggage was conveyed behind a wall.

"Let's try it!" Matsuda practically yelled, hopping up and down like a school girl.

"Let's not," Light countered, looking annoyed. He was seriously considering killing this idiot. But he wouldn't say that out loud. It had been three days since L had mentioned Kira, and Light didn't want to mess up that streak.

"No, Light-kun, it might be fun. We already have our baggage," L stated. He climbed onto the conveyor belt before Light could stop him, Matsuda following suit, and Light being dragged behind them .

"WHEE!" Matsuda yelled as they slowly rotated around the pick-up area.

"I don't know them, I don't know them . . ." Light chanted, averting his eyes from the idiotic scene in front of him and yanking on the chain of the stupid handcuffs that connected him to L.

"Matsuda, we are about to go through the flap," L observed, sitting in his crouching position as he was taken towards the opening.

"OH NO! DARK HOLE!" Matsuda screamed, and tried to crawl away from the flap, which L had just passed through.

"NOOOO!" Matsuda shrieked as he tripped and was engulfed by the blackness.

Light was still pretending he had no clue what was happening, but soon the chain was pulled taunt and he had no choice but to follow the detectives through the baggage flap.

They emerged in a room full of other conveyor belts, all just making a lazy circle before returning to the viewing area. Matsuda had his hands over his eyes and was screaming like he had just seen a ghost.

"Matsuda, please refrain from screaming," L said, but not before the workers unloading cargo from the planes onto the conveyors had noticed Matsuda's shrieks.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" a worker yelled. A few others joined in, and soon were running towards their conveyor belt.

"Ryuzaki . . ." Light said, panicking.

"I believe we should run now," L stated, pulling Matsuda to his feet and grabbing a hold of the handcuff chain. Then he started to run across the conveyor belt, pulling a hysterical Matsuda and a hyperventilating Light with him. L then shoved them through another flap, and they were out in the open.

"Never . . . do that . . . again!" Light exclaimed, pulling L towards the bags. Light noticed that what looked like a prostitute had made her home next to their bags.

"We have no need of you services! Get away you creepy hooker!" Light yelled, making shooing motions with his hands.

"You can't just whiff me away like I'm a bad smell! And –wait, did you call me a hooker!" the blond screamed with a clearly male voice.

"Mello, I apologize for Light-kun's behavior. He has had a bit of a rough trip," L explained, placing a hand on Mello's shoulder. The blond seemed to calm down a bit, but still shot Light a menacing glare.

"Just because I happen to be a homosexual doesn't make me a chick!" Mello roared, clenching his fists.

_Well you sure act like one on their premenstrual cycle . . ._ Light thought.

"I don't think it was the fact that you're gay that made Light think you were a girl. It was the fact that you look like a girl," Matsuda explained.

"I'm a homosexual! Not gay! There's a difference!" Mello snapped, making Matsuda cringe.

"And what exactly, is the difference?" Light asked. Normally he would have kept his mouth shut, but he really didn't see a difference between gay and homosexual. They both meant the same thing, right?

"Homosexual means that I am sexually attracted to other men. Gay means that I am attracted to other men, talk in a high pitched voice, and act like a pussy. So, no, I'm not gay," Mello stated. Light mentally rolled his eyes.

"Where's Matt?" L asked, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, he's waiting in the car. I hope you don't mind, but I asked Watari to drive Near. I just can't stand the little twit," Mello answered.

"Of course. And I believe I forgot to introduce you to my coworkers. This is Light Yagami," L gestured to Light, the chain rattling as he did so. Mello seemed to notice the chain for the first time.

"Ryuzaki, are you and Light . . ." Mello trailed off, his face moving in weird ways and his hands gesturing wildly to try to explain his question.

"No, Mello, we are not performing intercourse," L assured Mello.

"Actually, I was going to ask if you were having hot sex in the airplane bathroom, but I guess you already answered that," Mello said, shrugging. Light's face heated up and his eye twitched.

"And this is Matsuda," L continued, unfazed by Mello's accusation.

"HI!" Matsuda yelled, waving frantically. Mello laughed.

"I'm glad I invited him, he's gonna be a real character," he smirked.

Mello led the three men out to the parking lot, each of them with a suitcase rolling behind them. He waved to a goggle-clad man seated in a classic car.

The car was a Cadillac convertible, but unlike most classics, that were either powder blue or soft pink, this one was pitch black. The seats were red leather, and the tires were white wall, to match the steering wheel. A pair of fuzzy black and red dice hung from the rear view mirror. The whole car seemed badass, but with classic flair.

"Hey Mels! What the hell took you so long?" Matt asked as Mello climbed into the front seat. L, Light and Matsuda were crammed into the back seat, in the same order previously mentioned. Light groaned. _Couldn't L have been in the middle? Oh great, now it sounds as though we're having a threesome . . ._

"These idiots, and L, weren't at their bags when I got there. So I had to wait for them," Mello explained, pulling a chocolate bar from the glove box. Light rolled his eyes. Of course one of L's successors had to be obsessed with sweets. I mean they were succeeding_ L_, who was the optimum of weird.

"I apologize. Matsuda and I were investigating the baggage conveyor," L stated, pulling a package of panda-shaped cookies from his carryon bag.

"Um . . . Okaaay," Matt said, looking a bit weirded out by this explanation. He started the car and drove out of the parking lot, with a town car on his tail.

"Hey, Matt, you know we're being car-stalked right now?" Matsuda asked. Mello glanced at the town car.

"That's Watari and Near, they're not a problem," Mello replied, biting into his chocolate.

L was also eating his sweets, but he was sitting in a crouch and did not have his seat belt on.

"Ryuzaki, you know that's not safe. Put your seat belt on," Light chided.

"Light-kun, I have been in much more dangerous situations than this. I believe I can handle riding in a car without a seat belt," L stated, munching on his panda cracker.

After a few more minutes of riding, Matsuda was at it again.

"And then we went to Louisiana for aunt Bertha's wedding and they we all like 'y'all' and we were all like 'eh?' and the chicken was like 'scwawk?' and then-"

"Hey Matt, would you turn on the radio?" Mello interrupted. Matsuda was seriously getting on his nerves and he didn't want to have to shoot someone just a few days before his wedding.

"Sure, babe," Matt replied with a smirk.

"Don't call me that!" Mello shouted. Light sniggered from the back seat.

Sighing, Matt turned the radio on and searched for a station with decent reception. And found one.

"_We can be strong, we can be strong, out on this lonely run, on the road TO LOVE_!" Lady Gaga sang.

"OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!" Both Mello, Matt, and Matsuda said at the same time. Then they looked at each other strangely.

"_We can be strong, we can be strong, follow that U-NI-CORN on the road TO LOVE!_" Mello and Matt sang along with the radio.

Light was slightly annoyed by popular music anyway, and it was even worse with those two wackjobs singing along. Mello was a pretty good singer, but Matt . . . poor tone deaf Matt.

"_Run run, with her –_" was repeated so many times that Light was clutching his head in his hands, and praying to Kira that it would be over soon.

"_Run, run, with her top down, baby she flies_," Matsuda, Mello, and Matt sang as the camera zoomed out to a wide angle showing the car zooming down the road.

"_Run, run with the fury of a Satan arised_," they sang. The shot was now an aerial view of the car.

"_Run, run, hide your cha-cha, baby she goes_," Light was starting to get car sick.

"_With blond hair and a gun smoking under her toes_," The camera zooms in for a close up of Mello.

"_Oh-oh, Oh-oh. Ride ride, pony ride, ride_," L added his voice to the song. "_Oh-oh, Oh-oh. Ride, ride pony, to-night._"

"C'mon Light-kun!" L said, nudging Light's shoulder. Light sighed sullenly and added a monotone voice to the song.

"_We can be strong, we can be strong, out on this lonely run! On the road TO LOVE! We can be strong, we can be strong, follow that UN-I-CORN on the road TO LOVE_!" Matsuda had his arm around Light, who was kinda grossed out and scooted towards L, who also wrapped an arm around Light. Matt had an arm around Mello, who was leaning against Matt and smoking his cigarette.

Light could almost hear a ghostly voice floating above him saying "_Embrace the gayness, Light, embraaaaace the yaoi,_"

And it was the voice of Lady Gaga.

"_I'm on a ro-oooad, I'm on a road to love! I'm a ro-oooad, I'm on a road to love,_" they sang, while Light tried to untangle himself from Matsuda and L, only to find his head in Matsuda's lap. Light promptly screamed and knocked over Mello before he was able to turn off the friggen radio.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" both Mello and Matt wailed, glaring at Light. Well, Mello was actually glaring, Matt was glaring by way of the rear view mirror.

"Personal," twitch. "contact," twitch. Twitch.

L and Matsuda removed their hands from Light, who was twitching uncontrollably and foaming a bit at the mouth. Apparently too much gay sends him into some sort of fit.

"I believe our actions sent him into some sort of fit," L observed, poking Light, who just twitched even more.

"Should we poke him with a stick or something?" Matsuda asked.

Light, thinking perversely, howled and retreated to the floor, where he laid twitching and foaming in peace.

L shrugged, and Matsuda started to poke Light with a stick he kept in his carryon for occasions such as this one.

About thirty minutes later, Light was pulled from the car and down the sidewalk, still twitching, into a rather fancy hotel. Once they were inside, Mello slapped him a few times until he was acting normally. Well, normally for Light.

While he was getting up from the floor, he saw Watari walk in with a boy in pajamas. But the boy didn't walk in. No, he rolled in on a spinney chair, twirling his hair.

"AH! It's a bleached L!" Light yelled, still not in his right mind.

"Hahaha, Ohmygod, hahah! Good one, Twitch!" Mello laughed, doubling over in his hysterics.

The chair boy rolled over to their group.

"Hello. I am Near," Near stated, looking at the floor. Matsuda did a double take between L and Near, his head blurring and his mouth open.

Once Matsuda was done with that, he pointed at Near and yelled "OH MAH GAWD A SHEEP!"

Near face palmed, shaking his head at L.

"Don't look at me. Mello was the one that invited him," L defended, pointing at the leather-clad man.

"Hey! He's funny! And he called you a sheep! Hahah!" Mello laughed, Matt grinning a bit as well.

Light picked himself off of the ground and straightened his tie, trying to regain a bit of his dignity, if there was any left.

"I'm Light," he said, nodding at the boy, who did look quite a bit like a sheep, Light noticed.

"That's nice," Near said, completely ignoring him.

"And the stupid one is Matsuda," L added. Matsuda was now running around the lobby and sniffing things, knocking over lamps and other idiotic and asinine activities.

"He really should be kept on a leash," Light stated, watching Matsuda sniff a random old lady who hit him over the head with a newspaper.

"Good idea Light-kun!" L exclaimed, searching through his suitcase until he found a collar with a chain attached to it, or in other words, a seriously badass leash.

"Here Matsu!" L called, whistling like one might to a dog. Matsuda ran over to L and L secured the leash to his neck and gave the chain to Near.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Near asked, holding the chain as if it had STDs.

"Make sure that Matsuda doesn't do anything too idiotic," Mello explained, slapping the boy on the back of the head as he walked by.

The lady who worked at the check-in desk had been having a very pleasant day. Her coffee was just right, her boyfriend had left her a cute little voicemail, and her boss hadn't yelled at her yet.

That all changed when she saw the party heading straight for her desk. There were two men who were handcuffed together, one of them looking very stylish, the other looking as if he was homeless. Behind them were a transvestite and his/her pimp, followed by a small sheepish boy in an office chair being pulled by a man on a leash. At the very end of this procession was an old man, who looked like the only normal person there.

"M-may I help you?" she stuttered.

"Ah, yes we have a reservation under the name 'Pocky'" the homeless man stated, placing a finger on his mouth.

"Pocky? Seriously, Ryuzaki?" the well dressed man chained to him asked. The other man just rolled his eyes.

"Are we getting our room anytime soon? I wanna go out and party already! It's my bachelor party, dammit!" the transvestite yelled.

"_Our_ bachelor party, Mello," the pimp corrected, patting Mello on the shoulder.

"Whatever. Please show us our room, I believe Matsuda needs to relieve himself," the fluffy boy said, indicating the leash-man, who was knocking his legs together in the suggestion that he needed to use the bathroom.

This was all too much for the poor check-in girl, who was having a terrible nosebleed at the sheer hotness condensed in this one room, and she passed out from lack of blood flow to the brain.

Watari looked over the desk at the girl, bloody and passed out on the floor, grabbed their key cards, and found their room number.

"Room 931, gentlemen," Watari stated, passing out keys. The men then took the elevator up to the ninth floor, earning a few strange glances from other guests as they went.

It was going to be a long weekend.

**(A/N** – this is getting a bit out of hand . . . I'm sorry for this chapter being so crappy and random. I promise to restore Matsuda to his non-leashed self in the next chapter. And yes, the real Hangover storyline will begin in the next chapter. Can you guess who's Alan? His name starts with an M and ends with an atsuda.

And my writing style in this was a bit affected by the DN crackfic Bitch Stepped on My Floor Cake. I'm sorry . . . I was weak. BUT IT'S FLOORTASTIC!

Review if you've ever wondered what it would be like to ride the conveyor belt at an airport!)


End file.
